Just livin the life

Sorry no big posts this week. Kate and I are just living life right now, enjoying each other. Hope you are all doing well and that you all have a great weekend. Keep on loving on those God has brought around you and continue to keep your eyes only on Him. Here are some pictures of Kate to get you through the day :)

Why Believe?

I'm sure most of you have heard about this "I Am Second" thing. Check it out, if you haven't already. There are some truly incredible testimonies on here. Just regular people, some you may know, some you don't - all with one thing in common - they realized that Jesus should be first in their lives. http://iamsecond.com

Have a wonderful day today and be encouraged by the fact that Jesus loves you, wherever you are in life, more than you can even comprehend.

You've got to fight, for your right....

There is a battle going on...and I'm not talking about my right to party. I'm talking about the battle for our hearts. I am in one as we speak. God continues to do huge things in and around me and at the same time, I feel that Satan has launched a full-on attack on my heart and mind. The past week or so has been exhausting, not only from the time change (can't believe one hour can make such a difference, seriously), but from a war that is raging inside me - my mind, my heart. I can't sleep. I have little appetite. I get so anxious at times, my body breaks out into a cold sweat. This week my mind has been filled up with my actions from my past. Just being very real here - a sampling of some of the thoughts that have been racing through my head - I have been a terrible disaster of a wife, an awful daughter, an undependable sister, a liar, an unreliable friend, if I would've done this then that wouldn't have happened, woulda shoulda coulda....shut up already!!! I could go on, but you get my meaning here. Very unfortunately, these are all things I cannot change. They have happened already. I cannot take them back. Although I have been forgiven of all of this crap, that knowledge does not take away from the fact that all of these thoughts have led to a hurting heart, feelings of worthlessness, increased guilt and the sad realization that I may be unlovable. This is pitiful at best. This is where the enemy wants to keep me.

So, as I see it, I have three choices: 1 - Continue to allow these thoughts to rule my mind. I think I would end up in the crazy house if I continued down this road; 2 - Put on my best fighting face and with all my might, eyes squinted and teeth grit, with my meanest look and most determined heart, try and fight it on my own; 3 - OR, I can run. I can run my fastest to Jesus, put up my arms, beg Him to pick me up and let me cry for a little while because I do have a broken heart. And then, I can rest in knowing that He's already won this fight I'm in. He's already won. When I say "rest" I'm not talking about sitting back, closing my eyes, and taking a nap in the crook of his arm, all the while sending up a faint cheer of "go Jesus". I'm talking about truly resting in the knowledge that Jesus is FOR ME. He's not going to leave me out here to fend for myself. He has given me His Word. He has given Himself for me. He has given me the gift of an eternal life with Him and that is enough to get this girl through the day today. So, when the battle is occurring at 1:30 in the morning, and I can't get my mind to shut up, I will get on my face and talk to Jesus. I will claim the truth He has given me, replacing lies with truth. He loves me. He has justified me. I have been redeemed and forgiven of ALL my sins. I am COMPLETE in Him. I am His workmanship. He promises not to give me more than I can handle. He has promised not to allow anything to harm me. Just a few truths that come to mind.

This is where I've landed on this today - when my heart is truly filled up with Jesus and my eyes are only on Him, there is no room for eating disorders, lying, worry, affairs, hate, being mean to someone who loves you or whatever else you can come up with. But when I am going deeper in this relationship He's called me to, Satan doesn't love it and he wants to do whatever he can to take my eyes off of Jesus. So, I keep talking to Him and I keep filling my mind with His truth. He's still growing me. I have much to learn still, but this is where I find myself today.

Ephesians 6:12 - For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Colossians 1:13 - For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son.

Too Tired...

Today I am exhausted. Not a huge fan on the front end of Daylight Savings Time. Kate hasn't taken to well to the old Daylight Savings routine either. I've had to wake her up the past 2 mornings. She's usually sitting up, waiting for ME to wake up. I am also tired just because...I just am. My body doesn't want to do anything except crawl back in bed, get under the covers, maybe watch Anne of Green Gables and go back to sleep.

I find myself feeling like I'm in a holding pattern, yet, know that I'm not really in one. I AM growing and learning and moving forward. I'm right where I am supposed to be. But, sometimes waiting for God can seem tiring (raising a 10 month old angel-child is also exhausting). It can wear on you like nothing else I've ever experienced. However, I think when God asks us to obey Him by waiting/sitting still/being still/staying put, we have the idea that EVERYTHING is then on hold - our life, our joy, our growth. No sir. No ma'am, it's not. He is moving and working all around us. We don't even know what He's doing in others lives around us. I am sometimes so focused on this little life I lead, I forget that there is more going on than my own stuff.

I have never been in such a place of complete trust and total abandonment of my own plans as I am now (this is mostly because I have tried my own plan too many times and it just doesn't work out the way I want it to). Don't get me wrong - I have deep desires and wants for my life, but God has brought me into such a relationship with Him that I know without a shadow of doubt, His plan is better than mine. But, sometimes, in my time of being still, I get discouraged, I cry, and I get tired.

So, if, like me, you find yourself completely exhausted today - just stop, let go of the things you are holding onto so tightly, even if just for a minute, and let Him give you rest. You WILL find it in Him. In my experience, the more we do this as believers, the easier it is to just completely let go of whatever it is that you're holding onto and trust.

I wait expectantly for God to do the seemingly impossible in my life. But, I don't just wait to see what He is going to do - I also stand in astonishment at the hugely impossible things He has already done. The true miracle, that needs to be acknowledged in this moment, is that I am even able to write this today. God rescued my heart and my life today is a miracle and a true testimony that He does not give up on His children.

Two Scriptures that gave me encouragement today:

Jesus says, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and loaded down with burdens, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

But as for me, I will look to the Lord and confident in Him I will keep watch; I will wait with hope and expectancy for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.
Micah 7:7 (Amplified Bible)

Coming Attractions....

New posts coming your way soon....I promise. Things have been a little busy what with going to NYC and such. I have some stuff in the pipeline...so keep on the lookout for new posts coming your way. I hope you are each doing well and having such a good day.