New-Found Love.....the Pacifier

Whether you call it a pacifier, paci, pier, binky, plug, suckerbite, soother, nuk, dummy, chewy, t-t, soo-soo, gucky, nu-nu, sucker, tinky-winky, or a nummy - everyone has a name for it. You can't make stuff like this up. These are real names for the pacifier. We've all seen those snot-nosed kids, riding around in the buggy at the grocery, sucking on that nasty paci. I had a sister who couldn't give it up. For anonymity's sake, we'll call her "Becky." This little one couldn't let go of that stinkin thing! I mean, it was literally stinky. I think she was over 4 years of age before my parents could get rid of that thing. They would cut it down to a nub, yet she still found a way to keep that thing in her mouth. So gross.

My almost 10 month old daughter, Kate, has not been a child to take to the paci. She used it for a week or so after she was born, but after that, she would spit it out. I have to admit, secretly, I was proud of my girl. The authors of Baby-wise would be proud. No sleep crutches used here. Parent Directed Feedings all the way. We were on the right track.....that is, until yesterday.

I arrived promptly at 8:01am, taking all of our gear, including the child, into daycare. After we had unloaded everything, the owner of the daycare, Rachel, meets me at the door and asks "Does Kate have a pacifier?" In my proudest voice, shaking my head with a slight smile, I said "Umm, no. Kate doesn't USE one of those." Rachel then said, "Well, I hate to tell you this, but she does. She has been going around to the other children's play areas and stealing their paci's. She waits until they leave the paci and she makes a bee-line for it." I was horrified!!! My little angel, using a paci?? No, it couldn't be. I said, "Are you sure?!?" Rachel replied, "Yes. She has been doing this for about a week now and you will need to purchase some paci's for her. Also, if you could pick up the thing that attaches to her shirt that ensures a paci is always there for her convenience, that would be great too." So, last night, Kate and I bundled up and went to Babies R Us (I had a coupon) and bought paci's and things to hook them to her clothes and marked them with a "K". Awesome.

All of my pride in the "paci department" is gone. So, if your child is a paci-user, please don't take offense to my tirade at the front-end here - I have joined you in your cause. In this instance, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Mom

My mom was a woman you would want to meet. When she walked into a room, there was a joy there that drew people to her. She welcomed anyone into her home without hesitation. She was absolutely hilarious, fun to be around, and was not one to take herself too seriously. Her cookies were awful, but her chicken enchiladas were to die for. While other mom's dreaded the time when school was let out for the summer, she couldn't wait for it!! She is the reason I am a pianist and have a passion for music. Watching her play the piano as a little one, I wanted to play just like her. Ruthie, Troy, Bekah and I talked to her everyday, no matter which part of the country we were in, no matter where we were in life. She loved Jesus and helped me understand why I needed to say "yes" to Him. She is the reason our family was so close and a big part of why we have remained so to this day. I am very thankful that God gave me the gift of a mom who loved me no matter what, loved life and lived it fully to the end, and left a legacy that has impacted many people's lives.

Especially now that I have Kate in my life, I ache for my mom. I have questions all the time about what Bek, Ruthie, Troy and I were like as babies, is it ok that Kate's daycare is feeding her a cookie everyday, what does this rash mean, how long is too long to go without pooping (for Kate, of course), is it bad that Kate doesn't have teeth yet...and the list goes on. Yet, in His perfect way, God has placed people in my life that I CAN call and ask these questions to. The bottom line being, I miss my mom...I miss her terribly.

The "inspiration" for writing this came at church on Sunday as we were singing this song, "Revelation Song." It is a powerful song in itself, quoting scripture from the book of Revelation, but something more struck me at that moment - I was singing to the same God that my mom stands before in Heaven - maybe even singing herself! It touched my heart in such a way that I just started weeping - the "makeup gone, Kleenex sticking to your face, un-pretty" kind of crying. This is what we were singing:

YouTube - Revelation Song - Kari Jobe

Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain

Holy, holy is He

Sing a new song to Him

Who sits on Heaven's mercy seat

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty

Who was and is and is to come

With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings

You are my everything, and I will adore You

Clothed in rainbows of living color

Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder

Blessing and honor, strength and glory and power be

To You, the only wise King

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty

Who was and is and is to come

With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings

You are my everything, and I will adore You

Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder

At the mention of Your Name Jesus,

Your Name is power, breath and living water, such a marvelous mystery

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty

Who was and is and is to come

With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings

You are my everything, and I will adore You.

What an incredible promise we have as believers in Christ that we will see our precious loves again. Where I feel that my mom was taken too early in her life, too early in MY life, I find rest and peace in the fact that God has a perfect plan for each of our lives. He was ready to have my mom in Heaven and He leaves me here on earth because He is not finished with my life. Our ultimate purpose on this earth is to bring glory to Jesus. He chose to glorify Himself by bringing my mom to Heaven...I don't understand it...I don't have to, but I know His plan is truly perfect. As a family, we have grown together and in our relationships with Jesus through this hellish experience in a way that I couldn't have even imagined was possible.

Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to HIM be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

3 in a row....I'm on a roll!

Kate is crawling now...has been for about a month. It is so amazing to see how her mind and body are developing! This video was taken on her very first "snow day." We had ice and freezing rain in Dallas and, like Greenville, SC, everything shuts down. It was a fun day. I never was a very good driver, so....it was good that we didn't have to go to work/school.

It is a gorgeous day in Dallas....

Life is such a precious gift. Get outside and enjoy living it. Or, if you can't do that, thank God for that sweet breath you just took. And also, love on someone near you. They probably need it.

Take Cover. Tornado Warning

First of all, I apologize to all you folks that I can't get my act together to keep this blog consistent. I come up with great ideas, I really do, and then....I'm working, or Kate is playing with power cords and I need to stop her, or she needs to be fed, or she just needs her mom's lovin, or we're just livin life :).

So, to the blog. I hate tornado warnings/watches/winds, basically anthing to do with tornados. Even as a kid I can remember being terrified of them. Maybe it was that horror film "Wizard of Oz" that put the intial fear in me. Either way, I am not a fan. I know there are people out there, like Helen Hunt, who enjoy a good tornado chase, but I guarantee you won't ever find me in a pick up truck with Bill Paxton, running after a tornado.

Anyway, last night we had all the rain and winds and then finally, the tornado warning. I never experienced this in South Carolina, but in Texas, they have warning sirens that go off when there is severe weather in the area. Sometimes, when it gets really bad, there is a man's voice that starts talking over the loud speaker. The feeling I get when it starts actually reminds me of movies I've seen about Nazi camps in WWII. Seriously, it's crazy.

Around 9:30pm the sirens start going off. The scary man comes over the loud speaker and says "Take cover. Tornado warning." I wake Kate up and get her out of her crib, she squints up at me as though she was saying "is it already mornin, Mom?" We meet Becky (our friend that we live with) and the dogs in the laundry room. It was a sight, I'm sure. I'm in my jams, Kate's in hers, and Becky had just come in from working out - and we're all stuffed in the laundry room. I have to admit, I was scared. The wind was really loud...the rain was really coming down. I just kept imagining a tree falling right through the middle of the house and there we would be, sitting in the laundry room in our jammies. No bueno. No bueno at all. I just said aloud "Jesus, please keep us safe." Then Becky chimed in and just prayed for a few minutes for us and for the other people that were experiencing the same storm. It was a little unnerving, but just talking to Jesus calmed my heart. While we were sitting there, He gave me the thought that He knew about this storm, He knows how many more days I have and even how many days Kate has. The knowledge of that was comforting somehow in that scary moment. He continues to bring me back to the fact that He knows about my little life and that I'm here in Plano, TX, feeling very alone. He knows that I feel like I've been forgotten and that there are days when I just wish my Dad could come and pick me and Kate up in mom's old van and bring us back home. But, He also knows my heart and my dreams, my passions, my desires for my future.

The storm died down eventually and thankfully we did not have any problems to deal with because of it. Sometimes I feel as though I am living in a neverending storm. But, I find rest in the fact the there is a plan for my life. I am living that plan right now. This is part of it. My dad keeps telling me this is only a season of life. I want to take as much away from this time in my life as I can. I truly don't want to waste the precious time I have been given. Sometimes it is a choice to NOT be Debbie Downer. Today, I am making that choice. My family will be glad :)

A lot of people have thrown this verse out there for years and years as a cheesy cliche when life sucks, but either way, it is Truth. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. Another good one is "Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for Him to act." Psalm 37:7a. To those of you out there in cyber land that are struggling in life, take some hope in the fact that Jesus loves you beyond comprehension and He wants great things for your life. It's really true.

Thanks to all who have taken the time to read. I really do appreciate it.